The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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