my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
