Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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