everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Terrible idea I love it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
