Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
