nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize