Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
