talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
