Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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