Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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