Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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