I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
