hell yes lets make some ravioli
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sorry about my life...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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