is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
