nut hugger
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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