i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
