hotel room ftw
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.