Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend