Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip