Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hippo gnu deer
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize