Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
