He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.