in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?