My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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