It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
