You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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