the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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