She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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