And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His hands were made for my vagina.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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