WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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