Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
