Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
home. puking in laundry basket.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
