pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
