Non-Jews are for practice
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
