My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
