just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He shit in the fireplace
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
