So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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