Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
