before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What a dumb baby whore.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
