Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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