i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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