dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
