Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
