You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
