So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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