the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
