Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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