i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
