This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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