every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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