i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
