sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize