After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
