It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
false alarm, still single
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
