paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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