so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize