It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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