i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize