just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
