is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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