We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
