I am in a vortex of obligation.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
