Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize