I bet he comes in French.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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